One perk of being in the van, driving kids place to place, is a captive audience. It’s not as essential for my youngest three, who still love discussing every detail of their day and adorably believe that I am funny, young and cool. But, for my preteen, who spends most of his time hanging with friends or behind the closed door of his room, car trips are my best shot at checking in.

This week we set out, all four buckled, absorbed in their own thoughts.

Seated beside me, my preteen looked over and said, “Oh mom, that reminds me….”

I instantly straightened and smiled. A conversation he initiated! Should I pull the car over? My mind raced how to best communicate “you have my full attention.”

“Yes?!!!” I prompted enthusiastically.

He stared at me oddly.

Dial it back mama, I scolded myself.

“Yes.” I tried again in a more subdued tone.

“Could you please not say embarrassing phrases in front of my friends.”

Well it’s doubtful, but let’s explore the idea.

“Define embarrassing phrase,” I said, managing to keep a straight face.

“Like when you said, there might be chicks at the pool.  I got teased about that later.”

When the twelve year old crowd turns and fails to see you as the hilarious, hip mama that stares back in the mirror.

“Hmmmm…OK, so no more saying chicks.  Got it.”  This was going well, so I pushed on, hoping to rebuild my dwindling street cred.  “I shall work hard to not be uncool in front of your homies anymore.”

He rolled his eyes in disgust. “I’ll just jump from this moving car right now,” he moaned in defeat while shaking his head.

“Come on, that’s funny right there. I don’t care who you are.” I tipped my imaginary hat to Larry the Cable Guy and grinned.  An unamused stare was returned.

The four year old joined in my laughter from the backseat. My comedy plays better to the preschool crowd.  I gave him a loving gaze through the rearview and he dispensed a supportive thumbs up.  My smile faltered slightly as I realized, one day he would be sitting in the front seat, lamenting the lack of coolness of his aging mom. All these moments that come to an end.

This week has been filled with many “last time ever” events. The final day of preschool for my soon to be kindergartner. Graduation from elementary school for my upcoming middle schooler. I found myself grieving these experiences we would never have again. Holding on as long as possible.

“For I alone know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”  Jeremiah 29:11

Then it hit me, I need to reverse my thinking. Not mourning what was behind, but celebrating all that is to come. The plans, the adventures, the firsts that God has in store for my children. For our lives.  The excitement of waking each day and living out the future that God designed specifically for us. What a gift!

With my mind refocused on all that lay before us, I returned my attention to my son.

“Hypothetically speaking,” I glanced over and caught his eye. “If I am driving your friends and I just happen to see a baby CHICK on the side of the road, can I say……”

Stony silence.

“I’ll just think it…” I whispered loudly with an understanding wink.

I swore I saw a tiny hint of a smile. Mama’s still got it! Can’t wait to see what the future has in store.

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